What a Barbarity, Barbara!

4 words to describe what I feel about this chapter: Barbara. Drives. Me. Insane. I mean, how can a person be so inapprehensible with her own father? Even worse, how can she be so intolerant with her father when she knows he is crazy? This really upsets me.

I am not sure if I feel this way because of situations I’ve lived or if everyone also feels this way. Anyways, I think she is so inpatient with him and so frivolous, she doesn’t even look like her daughter, instead she seems like a nurse or his doctor. 

“If you’re going to start acting like a child, maybe we’ll just have to treat you like a child.” (Pg. 131) WTF! He is crazy! He has mental issues! He is your father! Jeez! If I was in front of her I would pretty much insult her. It ironic you know, I am guessing Billy took care of her when she was young, and I am almost sure he did it patiently and with love, and know that the role changes… Barbara acts so “mature” and that’s way she treats him that way. The narrator says it himself, “it was very exciting for her, taking away his dignity In the name of love” (Pg. 132) She enjoyed make him feel inferior by showing her authority.

I can’t find a reasonable explication on why she acts that way, maybe she can’t deal with it anymore, she is tiered, but she feels an obligation to “take care” of him. Maybe she is scared that he will do something unpredictable and end up killing himself. Maybe she just does it so she won’t have a conscience that she didn’t help him.

What would be better, that someone does something good for you with GOOD intentions, or they do it just to get it out of the way or to at least say you tried?

Its sad how people like Barbara are not only on novels, they are everyday people who see their parents (when they are old of course) as a load, and don’t appreciate anything they did for them when they were small. The lack of patience, which I must admit am also guilty of it, is also sad. Our parents had so much patience when we were learning how to walk, with our homework’s, with our problems etc.

What is this lack of toleration towards them? 

Ignoring the Dreadful

One question I asked my self throughout the entire chapter: Are the Tralfamadorians a reflection of humans?

You may be asking yourself what do I mean (I am actually asking myself what do I mean), well, the idea of how they exhibit Billy in a zoo looks like a “black humorist” representation of humans to me.

I believe Vonnegut is trying to show us how irrational we are when we think we humans, know everything, and that we are more important than anybody else. Therefore, we try to change things, stop them and create them without worrying about the consequences these actions might bring to the entire planet.

 Vonnegut tries to show us this when the Tralfamadorians tell Billy that they even know when and how the universe will end because he starts talking on how, because of “Earthling” actions, all planets are in danger.  Nevertheless, they say that they are the ones who will end the universe and the only thing that earth has to do with it is that it will also be “wiped out”. As any human being would probably do, Billy asked them why  they didn’t do anything to prevent it, and they tell him “He has always pressed it, and he always will. We always let him and we always will let him. The moment is structured that way.” (Pg 111) Demonstrating that they don’t try to change things because they were supposed to go that way, and the universe was “meant” to end at that particular time, therefore there is no reason to prevent it.

Tralfamadorians kind of give me lessons on how to deal with “earthling” behavior. They seem, (to me at least), like these inferior creatures with green eyes, when actually they are far more mature than humans. One time they tell Billy Earthlings should start ignoring awful times and concentrating on good ones. It is so simple but so hard for us.

This lesson made me realize when, for example, a person you trust goes and tells a secret you trusted them with and you never forgive them. You only remember the bad thing that person did and not all the time he was there for you, and helped you with everything. That’s our sad truth...

We only concentrate on bad things and ignore the good ones. 

Why Ask Why?

 “That is a very Earthling question you ask, Mr. Pilgrim. Why you? Why us for that matter? Why anything? Because this moment simply is. (…) There is no why?

Why do we always have to question everything that happens to us, or anything we do? Is it because we always have to have an answer, or is it because we are afraid of what this might mean so we need an explanation. Why don’t we accept thing just as they are, maybe they are just meant to be. I think the real answer to this is because we need explanations in order not to feel afraid.

I believe just as the Trafaldorians try to explain to Billy, we have to accept things and not fight against them. Not only this, but also to live everything “Moment by moment.” Not rush through it, live in the present accepting what your put through instead of trying to skip it.

This may sounds very realistic and correct, but when something bad or something we didn’t expect happens, what do people tell us?

“Everything happens for a reason.”  Then the question would be what reason. I think it is really hard to do as the Trafaldorians say, but only because we have been shaped that way. I mean, since we were just a few years old our parents told us why we had to do things or not, why many things happened, but know as we grow older it is not so easy to explain. Things are so much more complex that we don’t have answers to everything.

I think at the end the Trafaldorians are trying to leave another message: We shouldn’t waste all our time wondering why. Instead, experience those things and if you find that answer great, but if not just keep on going without it. It is not like if it would be the end of the world.

Questioning:  Is it good or bad?

I will leave it to you to answer this question.

Traveling Without Passport or Plane?

What I most enjoyed of this third chapter of Slaughterhouse Five was the detailed description the author uses. I really could picture everything. Personally when a book is this descriptive, I understand it better because my mind is busy doing this “movie” so it doesn’t have time to get side tracked. One great example of this is when the narrator starts talking about the commander’s boots. He describes them so well I can perfectly imagine the polished boots with the image of Adam and Eve inside them.

In this chapter Billy keeps time traveling and I couldn’t stop thinking and comparing it with the book The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. The husband has like a genetic disorder, which makes him travel in time in any moment and to any time. That is exactly what happens to Billy, when he goes to sleep and wakes up in another time period.

I surely wouldn’t want to time travel. I mean, of course I regret some things and obviously I would like to live again some others, but the confusion that Billy has... No thanks, I pass.

It’s a little frustrating, I don’t even know which is Billy’s present. Is it the war? Is it when he is old, after the plane accident? Please, even if you where so sorry about things you’ve gone through in the past, having to change from present to past, to future, not knowing when the next change will occur, I think it would be a little tiring, no, not tiring, exhausting! That poor man seems so lost so confused.

To tell you the truth, I am suspicious that he is not rally time traveling, instead he is just having flashbacks, during his dreams, but they are so vivid that he confuses them with time traveling. I think that would be the most accurate prediction, and as I’ve said it in my past blogs, it must be because of the war trauma. However, I can’t dismiss the idea of time traveling, because it is actually the narrator the one who talks about his time travels.

I really hope, further in the novel I will understand this changes in events.  Meanwhile I would like to leave the reader with a question:

Do you regret your past so much, that you would be willing to  experience these un-announced time travels?

I wouldn’t.

Being in the Wrong Place

“The soldiers’ blue eyes were filled with curiosity as to why one American would try to murder another one so far from home, and why the victim should laugh.”

Billy, the protagonist, reminds me of Forest Gump. The completely wrong person trapped in war. For example when there is a shooting and Billy just stood there frozen, I pictured him just like Forest although at the end Forest is great at war. Both of them are very lucky because they did stupid things but still got out alive of war. Comparing Billy with his partner, Weary, was inevitable. Weary was Billy’s complete opposite. Weary was a man who seemed to be born for war, he probably didn’t know how to do anything else that did not involve war. Instead Billy was a man meant to do anything that did not involve war. When they describes all the “gadgets” Weary had, and all the weapons his father gave him Billy is in a huge disadvantage. Weary clearly disliked Billy, even the German soldier didn’t understand this, and it is all explained in the quote above, They should stick together, they are crossing the same situation they should help each other not try to kill one another…

I mean, probably the people who are least meant to go to war are the ones most likely to go, and that’s the thing about it. Billy was clearly affected by the war, but I personally think he blames it in the airplane accident he had. I am guessing he had post war trauma but he wasn’t capable of expressing it, but after the accident it all just came out involuntarily.

The way he talks about death saying, “So it goes” made me somewhat mad. I have experienced death in my family and, no matter how many years have passed, it still hurts, and I still wish it hadn’t happened. I am sure Billy feels this way too, please, he lost his father, he was sent to war where many of his colleagues were killed, how could it not mean anything to him. I think he uses this phrase probably to repress the pain or something.

The part that explained why Billy made everyone call him Billy made me crack up. It said it would make him magical because there were not many adults named Billy and because people would think about him, as a friend. This is totally true. Since I started to read about Billy it made me feel like on his side, like kind of sorry for him. Then the narrator explains this and it was so true it made me laugh. 

"My Name Is Yon Yonson"

When I read the title of this book, Slaughterhouse Five, I couldn't imagine anything else but a fiction book, probably about ninjas (I am not particularly a big fan of them) so I was not really looking forward to it. However, after reading the first few pages I really couldn’t stop. The technique Kurt Vonnegut uses to narrate the story really appealed to me. The way he wrote the first sentence "All this happened, more or less. The war parts, anyway, are pretty much true. One guy I knew really was shot in Dresden for taking a teapot that wasn't his (…)” really hooked me up and I really wanted to know what else had happened there. The word Dresden, really stroke out, I had heard it a few times, in the World War II books I had read in the past, which by the way are my favorite. I also remembered going to Dresden, when I went to Europe two summers ago, however, I couldn't remember the actual city, just like the narrator, he remembered being in Dresden, however he could not remember many things about it.

I wonder what the song:
“My name is Yon Yonson,
I work in Wisconsin,
I work in a lumbermill there.
The people I meet when I walk down the street,

They say, “What’s your name?”
And I say,
“My name is Yon Yonson
I work in Wisconsin””

Means. I am predicting it will have something to do with the end… like a clue or something. Like in I am the cheese by Robert Cormier. The kid, Adam, sang a song about the cheese being alone, and at the end he understands he is the cheese (because he is lonely), and the story gives an unexpected turn. I think something like that will happen in Slaughterhouse – five. I just can’t figure it out right now. 

Maybe it will have something to do with the post war effect he seems to have. However, I think he does not want to accept it. I mean how can’t a person who has killed people, who has enjoyed killing them (sadly, but true), who has been rewarded for killing the “enemies” not have a post war depression or something? His drinking problem is probably, no, certainly, an effect on the war. I remember my Sociales teacher once read an article about a soldier who had been sent out of the war to Bogota because he had suffered a severe injury, he said he didn’t particularly enjoy killing guerrilleros, but killing one meant a piece of grilled chicken with rice and potato (An example of war promotion, I will talk about it further on). He had come to Bogota, but he was not able to get another job so he stayed home and became a drug addict. He wandered down the streets every night, high, and was not able to do anything with his life. He had gone to post war therapy but it didn’t work so he gave up. No one had heard about him in the past two years…

I really can’t imagine how horrible that depression must be, not being able to sleep at night, having to drink to feel better, the nightmares. I really hope no one I know has to pass through that situation. I mean being able to survive war and then being so depressed you commit suicide, God!

Mary, O’Hare’s wife, must have been a major influence, I mean, he dedicated the book to her, I wonder if she will have anything else to do through the novel. Talking about Mary, she made me have a flashback of my Global Studies class last year when we saw how leaders worked hard on propaganda and to justify war in the eyes of common people. The way she talked about the movies promoting war and being propaganda for little kids. She mentions they were babies when they were sent to fight and they had to act like grown ups, she thinks about her sons. Imagine having to loose all your innocence because you had to go fight, playing with guns instead of cars, instead of playing tag actually running away from the real enemies, instead of eating chocolates, having to eat bugs because there is no more food supply. It is so depressing just thinking about it. 

"The Perfect Life" By John Koethe

I am a kind of person who believes in living with no regrets, living life to the fullest, so when we get old and look back, we can still remember those things that we did and really impacted us. Most importantly when we think of them we can still respond to them with feelings, with emotions.

After reading "The Perfect Life" I simply could not stop thinking on how a person could live conforming themselves with what they achieve and nothing else? How can someone live without wanting to achieve more for themselves? Without having that bit of ambition, (which I must admit, everyone has) to push us to go for more? 

Living without disappointments is not really living; it does not let us learn from our mistakes and grow up from them. Unlike the author, Koethe, I really want to be able to grow up, and when I am old I can look back and remember things vividly like if it had happened not long ago. As a result I live everyday (or at least try to) to the maximum, trying to have no regrets so I can have my conscience calm, and when the moment to die or to grow old comes I will not have any regrets and I will be able to rest in peace, literary. 

I can’t deny, that we have more responsibilities and more worries as we grow older, but what is the point of growing up if you don’t have this? What is the point and satisfaction of wanting to get a car if we are not going to worry about crashing or getting a ticket? These factors are part of the process, the process of growing up. We all pass through it and we must assume it in the correct way, so when we grow old, we will not feel what we had is colorless and cold.

Reading this poem, I couldn’t stop thinking of the movie The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. It made me analyze having to be born as an old person living backward, and dying as a baby. Forgetting how to talk, walk, eat, simply forgetting everything seems terrible!

The path of life is perfectly designed; start with innocence, to make our mistakes, learn from them and then, use this to progress and help others. Consequently, when you are very old and you start forgetting things, you will still have that feeling, very deep in you, that you lived as you wanted without any regrets… At least I hope so.